she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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