Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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