The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
