I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize