His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
