I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
