once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
