I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
