I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
