whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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