The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
