Your face is a jimmy john
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
