Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize