hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
