yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
