Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
