something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
