I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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