there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
