Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize