i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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