No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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