No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
