i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
