Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
