I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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