You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
