kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize