Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
