i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The ass gains better be worth it
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