can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
