dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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