Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
