People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
