How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
