You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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