I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize