i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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