last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
