happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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