I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
