it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
