Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
