you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
