and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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