I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am spending my child support on dildos
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
