I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
