I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
