She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
