I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
