do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
