Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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