is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
honey bunches of taint.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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