Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
