do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize