you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
