I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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