I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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