with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
