hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
