So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
