thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
