Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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