Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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