worst night to have a conscience
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
FUCK WHALES
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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