I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
