they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
