If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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