why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
