Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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